If already read, feel free to mark as read

Since I've been suffering from some serious blogger's block for the last two weeks, I've decided to repost an old post in light of the plaid trend madness everywhere. I still completely and wholly stand by this particular post.

Posted on June 6th, 2009:

I think I've developed a huge thing for guys in plaid.

But instead of rambling too much, I'll let the pictures do the talking. Seriously, if I start describing the things I would do to them, this post would turn into an excerpt from one of those raunchy romance novels (i.e. Gettin' Buck Wild: The Sex Chronicles). Except worse...much worse. And by "worse", I mean better-- downright dirty and probably illegal. But I'll spare everyone the play by play of my fantasies.












Whoever agrees that guys in plaid equals gold should most definitely join this group on facebook.

PS. I finally got my phone! I am feeling myself again. Seriously people, just text me random stuff about anything. I'll most definitely text back...with long deep sentimental messages too. (Yep, being deprived of a phone for a week will do that to you.)


Belle & Sebastian - She's Losing It

Phobias, part I

As far as I'm concerned, there are two types of people in this world: People who know their clothing color limits when it comes to dressing and those who don't.

Now before all of you in the latter category come at me with pitchforks, I have a confession: I have an extreme fear of wearing bright colors in general. One look into my neutral wardrobe should be enough proof. I am slowly trying to accept some colors into my wardrobe slowly, but it is a work in progress. Also I should mention that an exception to this is floral or plaid prints.

Basically, it's like a phobia. This phobia is so great that I even try to cut most of the color out of boyfriend's wardrobe. He should never leave me unattended at his apartment or he would come home to find his wardrobe destroyed and in ruins. This condition even has a name. It's called Chromophobia.

But the upside is that I can handle a little bit of color now. One bright colored piece paired with neutrals (blacks, greys, navies, whites, and any variation in between) is my rule/limit. It's some sort of brain mechanism where if I wear more than one bright colored piece, I think I would throw up or start having the shakes and smashing windows. Olivia Palermo provides an excellent example of how it should be done:



But god forbid those who insist on pairing bright color with bright color. As well, some colors are unforgivable in general and will never make their way into my wardrobe.



I’ve learned to accept these kinds of bright colored dressers as people, even though I think it’s disgusting and plain, downright wrong. I try not to judge them too harshly. I try to understand why someone would buy a pair of skinny jeans in bright green. It's beyond my understanding but I try to deal with it nonetheless.

More often than not, I have caught a great, beautifully cut top while shopping, only to be let down because it is a dreadful color like fucking magenta with yellow stripes running everywhere . So to all clothing manufacturers: If something is good the way it is (read: in beautiful neutral colors), for the love of baby jesus, let it be. Let it be.

But not all people think this way. So do you know what I have to say to all you colorful dressers in your 80's color t shirts? The world would be a much better place without you. Stop this insanity right now. The world does not work this way! If this little trend catches on, people are going to start replacing all the beautiful neutral colors with the Crayola palette.

The solution to lying liars who lie.

I once had the interesting experience of having a pathological liar as a friend. Unfortunately when we first met, she wasn't Pinocchio and so there was no way for me to spot this particular personality flaw right away. However, when I found out about her lying ways, instead of feeling angry that she lied about multiple things, it only gave rise to feelings of pity and charity. And of course, questions of my gullibility.

Which is why I have decided that these pathological liars need to come with BIG warning indicators. Or at least ominous music. Wouldn’t that be increasingly helpful? Especially when it involves the opposite sex.

Imagine this scenario: You are at the bar or club with your friends, having a drink and suddenly the door swings opens and he walks in. You know the one. His dark hair is slightly tousled as if he has just gotten out of that gorgeous convertible, his features are chiseled, and everything about him is full of promise. He walks over to you, with just the right amount of confidence in his stride, and gives you a smile that pretty much curls your toes it has so much sex appeal.

However, as all this is happening the ominous music cues and consistently gets louder and louder until you simply cannot ignore it anymore. Sirens go off in your head and you tell him, no way Jose.

Approximate time you just saved: 1 month - 1 year.

Movies do this all the time. This is why I can never understand why the poor women consistently dates the man who abuses her over the many long years, is really a criminal in disguise, or is a business man who has four other wives in four other cities. Don't they hear the ominous piano notes that accompany him whenever he enters the scene? Is it so difficult? Seriously, they're pretty damn loud.

This would also be especially helpful for my boyfriend, not because he's a liar, but because of yours truly. Like when I get angry. When I get angry, I feel like I can win any and every argument because I have the powers of irrational thought on my side. So before my anger with him plateaus, the foreboding tones would start and he could run as far and as fast as he could away from me.

Easy peasy, right?

15 interesting facts about dreams

1. You forget 90% of your dreams. Within 5 minutes of waking, half of your dream is forgotten. Within 10, 90% is gone.

2. Blind people also dream. People who became blind after birth can see images in their dreams. People who are born blind do not see any images, but have dreams equally vivid involving their other senses of sound, smell, touch and emotion.

3. Everybody dreams. Every human being dreams (except in cases of extreme psychological disorder). If you think you are not dreaming, you just forget your dreams.

4. In our dreams, we only see faces that we already know. Our mind is not inventing faces – in our dreams we see real faces of real people that we have seen during our life but may not know or remember. We have all seen hundreds of thousands of faces throughout our lives, so we have an endless supply of characters for our brain to utilize during our dreams.

5. Not everybody dreams in color. A full 12% of sighted people dream exclusively in black and white. The remaining number dream in full color. Studies from 1915 through to the 1950s maintained that the majority of dreams were in black and white, but these results began to change in the 1960s. Today, only 4.4% of the dreams of under-25 year-olds are in black and white. Recent research has suggested that those changing results may be linked to the switch from black-and-white film and TV to color media.

6. Dreams are symbolic. If you dream about some particular subject it is not often that the dream is about that. Dreams speak in a deeply symbolic language. Whatever symbol your dream picks on it is most unlikely to be a symbol for itself.

7. Emotions; The most common emotion experienced in dreams is anxiety. Negative emotions are more common than positive ones.

8. You can have four to seven dreams in one night. On average, you can dream anywhere from one or two hours every night.

9. Animals dream too. Studies have been done on many different animals, and they all show the same brain waves during dreaming sleep as humans. Watch a dog sleeping sometime. The paws move like they are running and they make yipping sounds as if they are chasing something in a dream.

10. Body Paralysis.

Rapid eye movement (REM) sleep is a normal stage of sleep characterized by rapid movements of the eyes. REM sleep in adult humans typically occupies 20-25% of total sleep, about 90-120 minutes of a night’s sleep.

During REM sleep the body is paralyzed by a mechanism in the brain in order to prevent the movements which occur in the dream from causing the physical body to move. However, it is possible for this mechanism to be triggered before, during, or after normal sleep while the brain awakens.

11. Dream Incorporation. Our mind interprets the external stimuli that our senses are bombarded with when we are asleep and make them a part of our dreams. This means that sometimes, in our dreams, we hear a sound from reality and incorporate it in a way. For example you may be dreaming that you are in a concert, while your brother is playing a guitar during your sleep.

12. Men and women dream differently. Men tend to dream more about other men. Around 70% of the characters in a man’s dream are other men. On the other hand, a woman’s dream contains almost an equal number of men and women. Aside from that, men generally have more aggressive emotions in their dreams than the female lot.

13. Precognitive Dreams. Results of several surveys across large population sets indicate that between 18% and 38% of people have experienced at least one precognitive dream and 70% have experienced déjà vu. The percentage of persons that believe precognitive dreaming is possible is even higher, ranging from 63% to 98%.

14. If you are snoring, then you cannot be dreaming.

15. You can experience an orgasm in your dreams. You can not only have s e x as pleasurable as in your real life while dreaming, but also experience an o r g a s m as strong as a real one, without any wet results. The sensations felt while lucid dreaming (touch, pleasure and etc..) can be as pleasurable and strong (or I believe even stronger) as the sensations experienced in the real world.

Source

Making J.Lo proud

Back in high school, (and I kid you not), I was known as the "asian girl with the big butt."
A particular conversation I was told of went like this:

"Hey, you know Sam--"
"Who? Wait, the asian girl with the big bubble butt right?"
"Yeah that's the one."
"Well, yeah sure! Why didn't you say so?"

When my guy friend told me this conversation he had with one of his buddies, I was mortified. Asian girl with the big bubble butt? You have got to be kidding me. He had to reassure me over and over again that it was a good thing and that it was hot. I rolled my eyes at this and sulked. Of course, like any other girl growing up, I had the preconceived notion that looking like a stick skinny model was the way to go. (Because who ever saw a Lagerfeld model with a big butt? I think not.)

It was even worse because even though I had a 24 inch waist, I could not for the life of me pull myself into a size 24 jean. They slid on smoothly from foot to thigh and then suddenly, I wouldn't be able to pull it over my butt and up past my "childbearing hips." To say it was a struggle is an understatement. I had to wear a size 26, and to this day, I still do...always with a belt of course. At the time, the rear was not a friend of mine. It was my enemy.

Over the years, I've been able to embrace what I have and love my butt. I'm not sure how it happened, but it happened. Yes, I do love it, and I wouldn't trade it for the entire Chanel and Proenza Schouler bag collection put together.

So to all the bootylicious girls out there, embrace that junk in the trunk. If I could go back in time to my former self, I'd slap myself across the face and tell myself to loosen up. Give 'em a little shake here and there.

Live a little.

Growing old does not apply to me

Tomorrow is the birthday. Another year older.

Not that I'm old or anything. I'm young, fertile and nothing's sagging. In fact, quite the opposite. Everything is in working order, so all is good.

With that, I will present my wishlist for this year:

- Gaspard Ulliel, James Franco or Johnny Depp (individually or all at the same time is not a big deal to me).
- A new texture of peanut butter (sometimes I get bored of smooth and crunchy).
- The entire Stella McCartney and Chloe spring/summer '10 collection (ruffles, lace and all).
- A Coldstone Creamery built in my cul-de-sac.
- A complete understanding of how a guy's brain works, computers, and why the trip back is always shorter than the trip there.
- Snow in this city that affects everyone else but me. And acceptance by everyone that this is fair and how it should be.
- The ability to win a game of Tap Tap with humility instead of dancing around and cheering my own awesomeness.

I hope everyone steps up to the plate for this.

That's a wrap. Here's to a new year.

Wishing you a happy 2010!