The one where I have to act like a cold hearted bitch (but I'm really not)

A few weeks ago, one of my guy friends asked me how I felt about him. I could tell it took a lot of courage for him to admit his feelings for me. So I looked him deep in the eyes, and opened my mouth, ready to answer him.

And I answered him the way I usually answer things...with brute/untamed force. I punched him in the face.

Totally kidding, I'm not a violent person. I've never even punched anyone before. In fact, I never hit people, unless someone takes my hand and thereby forces me to hit them with it. I answered him with brutal honesty.

I'm not a brutally honest person, so this was tough for me. When I have to tell someone bad news, I do it lightly. I tread carefully. I beat around the bush until they bring their hands up to choke me for the truth. In short, I'm not good at turning people down. I'm not a doormat of any sort, but I'm careful about how I say things. Too careful almost.

Instead of being like one of my closest friends, who is the bluntest person I know, and who would be all, "Dude, no way, I'm not interested. And I'm sleeping with your brother" or something along the same lines of awesome, I have to sugar coat everything.

Anyways, all that aside, it's not like my opinion of him will change. He's still my friend and an awesome guy, and I will probably act as if nothing out of the ordinary ever happened the next time I see him. Also, no one will ever ask me out again out of fear that I will end up really punching them in the face next time.

Song today is Metric - Gold Guns Girls

Coming up with plausible excuses is one of my many, many useful talents.

"I'm sick."

This will always, always be my favorite excuse for anything. Why were you late? Because I'm sick. How come you're taking your shitty moodiness out on me? I'm sick. I thought you said you were going to help me with so and so today. Sorry, I can't. I'm sick. You're being highly annoying right now. Don't talk to me like that, I'm sick, you don't even know what I'm going through right now, asshole!

Et cetera, et cetera.

Then if people tell you you're "being ridiculous," you can say to them, "Well, duh, that's because I'm sick." Trust me, people will leave you alone after this.

Another good one is "I fell down the stairs." No one really uses this one a lot and it's more specific than "I hurt myself", so it's believable. Or "I have food poisoning" which is a step higher than the general "I'm sick." You see, I put a lot of thought into these kinds of things.

Of course, I am actually sick. That's why I haven't been blogging as much lately. (See? It's perfect). But really, I'm actually sick. I've barely gotten any sleep lately because I've been coughing my head off at night. I feel terrible, I have no appetite, and I'm always in a bad mood as a result. Not a happy camper. I'm also taking three different kinds of meds, all to no avail. And I didn't go to class today either, of course. Take pity on the sick girl.

I would seriously give up three years of my life, if it means that I will live the remaining years of my life untouched by sickness. I think if I add up the days and days I've spent sick in bed and suffering from coughs and cold, it would span for months and months.

Songs today are MK Ultra, Undisclosed Desires, and I Belong to You off the new Muse album, The Resistance. You can download the entire album here. Enjoy.

Happy Thursday everyone.

And now you know everything.

I know, I know, my blog has become very boring lately(not that it was very interesting to begin with, but it has been especially lame for these past couple of weeks). Hopefully it will resurrect from this highly, highly unsatisfactory state soon.

I had a very low key, relaxing long weekend. One of the things I did was watch the Exorcist, and now I walk around with the constant fear that I'll somehow become possessed and start crawling down the stairs backwards, or that someone in my house will. If in fact, that does happen, I will probably have to stab that person, family or not. The first few nights afterwards I had trouble sleeping because that's what happens when I watch a horror movie on that level...sometimes I even imagine that my bed is shaking. Seriously, this kind of possession shit scares the hell out of me.

I have avoided watching this movie for years now, and the only reason why I watched it this weekend is because of this guy I like. I don't do this for everyone, I'll let you know, so I guess this means he's somewhat of a big deal or something. And he also complained about me not blogging about him, and so here I am, doing that too, practically professing my like for a guy. On MY BLOG! I don't even know who I am anymore.

The things I put up with and do for him. Clearly I am the giver in this relationship.

(I just realized that someone who did not spot the humor when reading this would be thinking, "wow what is a cute, smart girl like you doing with a guy like him" but of course this is more of an inside joke if you will. If you're reading this- I think you're great, and now I expect you to write a rap song in return for me.)

PS. I managed to snag tickets (face value, through sheer luck!) to these guys, who are playing Thursday. Really, really excited for this!



Songs today are Modest Mouse's King Rat and Whale Song. New EP is very good.

Bedshaped

Yesterday sucked. Today sucked. Tomorrow sucked.

Okay, not really...but I've been cell phone less for quite a few days now, and then I find out yesterday that I won't be getting it until Tuesday night or something. Terrific. Apparently they don't have that particular phone in stock or something. I think I'm going through the effects of some kind of textual withdrawal.

Anyways I feel lame for complaining, it's not that big of a deal. Or it shouldn't be at least.


And in addition to feeling lame, I feel boring. I think I need to go out and do something crazy again.

PS. I love that some yahoo answers just make you go wtf??:



Two posts in one day...this is progress, I'm getting back on track.

Keane - Bedshaped

So Livid

Remember this guy? Well not only is he overly sensitive, but he's an asshole as well. (We're platonic by the way, he's so not my type)

If I haven't already mentioned, he drives me to school everyday of the week except Wednesdays, given that he lives only a few blocks away from me.

After that whole fiasco about him getting angry at me for a stupid joke I made (being rude, and talking "shit"-- his words, not mine) I apologized and things went back to normal, except that I no longer bothered to joke around with him. He begrudgingly accepts my apology.

I thought everything was cool and everything seemed to be; he still picked me up on his way to school for the next few weeks.

And then today rolls around, it's 10:15 and he hasn't arrived...which I thought was weird. I text him asking if he's on his way, and 10 minutes later, I call him twice. No answer.

I figure that maybe he's running late, so I wait around like a fool. He finally texts me back 10 minutes before class starts telling me, "No, I'm at school."

Wow, thanks for letting me know buddy. He's the type of guy who checks his Blackberry every 2 minutes, so he intentional waits until there's no way I can get to school on time to tell me this.

I text him back "Thanks for letting me know 10 minutes before class. What the hell is wrong with you?"

This is what he says back, word for word: "Well, I figured you would've let me know if you wanted a ride. I'm not here to wait on you hand and foot, don't expect me to just come whenever you need a ride. If you have such a problem, maybe you should catch a ride with someone else."

(This is the most literate thing I've ever seen him write. It took him an hour to get back to me...probably spell checking and making sure his grammar is correct.)

That, everyone, comes from absolutely nowhere. I was absolutely stunned.

Must I iterate that HE DROVE ME EVERYDAY THIS SEMESTER, without me asking, without me reminding him?! So suddenly, I'm supposed to be able to predict when he wants to drive me and when he doesn't?!

Honestly, if he didn't want to pick me up, that's fine, AT LEAST LET ME KNOW so I can actually get to school on time and not miss class.

He knew, he knew I would be waiting for him and he drove right past my house without so much a word to let me know.

There's more. After I tell him the above, he replies with:

"Well excuse me for not catering to your traveling needs, its your responsibility as the person getting the ride to make sure I can drive in the first place. I'm not a fking taxi."


*Sigh* I need a coffee. I'm quite hurt by this, but more angry and pissed off than anything. I'm completely drained by the whole thing.