Thursday, October 29, 2009

How NOT to study. It's crucial knowledge. All the smart kids are doing it.

So like I've said, I haven't been blogging in the last week mostly because of school and studying for my midterms. And by "studying" I really mean cracking open my textbook for the first time, inhaling that new book smell, reading a paragraph, and then slamming it shut a minute later to browse Don't start laughing because I am not joking.

If there's one thing I'm spectacular at, it's wasting time.

I'm not a good studier. I don't think anyone would say that they're good at it, but I am just really that bad. I don't know the meaning of diligence. Focus? What's that? Concentration? Never heard of it. Sorry, that's completely foreign to me. So don't you dare tell me to concentrate on my work ever again.

So since I adore the readers of my blog so much and don't want you guys to make the same mistakes that I make, I made up a list of things NOT to do when studying. I care.
1. Don't get up from your study session to stand in line for Tim Hortons because you absolutely need that second cup of coffee and muffin and you will die (seriously!) without it even though the line is already a million people long.
2. Don't go to the bathroom 7 more times (after already going 13 times) during your study session to look at your makeup and hair.

3. Don't go over to your boyfriend/girlfriend's place to study. You WILL get distracted. This is a given.

4. Don't sit down, read two lines from the textbook, and then decide to get a snack even though you just ate a whole meal five minutes ago. Then go back to studying. Then continuously get up to get food every 5 minutes after that until your kitchen is depleted and you're too full and sleepy to study anymore.

5. Don't study and then somehow teleport over to the computer and mysteriously be playing facebook games. Those things cannot get enough of me, honestly now. How I got from my studying desk upstairs to my computer downstairs I don't know.

6. Don't get into full scale arguments with your guy friend about whether or not Chloe Sevigny is hot.

7. Don't stare out the window at nothingness even if nothingness is probably better than your textbook.

8. Don't start writing Zeus hate mail when you should be studying about him.

9. Don't go to the bathroom one more time to check your make up or hair.

10. Don't let those people who go around passing out pamphlets at your school and petitions to sign distract you from your studying. Your mantra should be all "Okay, go away crazy dumbass idiot." Why do people always talk to me?

11. Don't gesture for people to come over to your study table and make "small conversation" that lasts more than 2 seconds.

12. And then get into debates with them about whether or not Chloe Sevigny is hot. (She's totally is and her wardrobe is to die for.)

13. Don't get Celine Dion songs stuck in your head.

So I know it's hard to believe, but I actually am a hard worker. I just don't know how to study properly. (My boyfriend says he likes girls who are hardworking, so guess what? I'm hardworking. Now that I've clarified that, please don't break up with me.)

Song today is Imogen Heap - Not Now, But Soon off her latest album Ellipse.

Monday, October 26, 2009

All in due time

I've been so busy with school and midterms I haven't had time to write an actual blog post. For some weird, mysterious, and unknown reason I haven't gotten much done so far despite studying practically this whole week (Read: I don't study like a normal person should). Next post will be on "How NOT to study" because I care about you guys so much and I want you guys to learn from my mistakes. Which I will get around to writing after Wednesday.

PS. Taylor Momsen texting on the Keybo. I told you all my phone was Gossip Girl worthy.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Friday, October 16, 2009

The one where I almost go blind and die

It's 7:42 am.
I'm staring at myself bleary-eyed in the mirror. I'm dead tired.

I notice the remains of yesterday's mascara smudged around my eye, so I grab a cotton pad, saturate it in liquid, and press it against my right eye.


Wincing and cursing, I manage to pry open my good eye, and splash some water into the stinging one. I turn my good eye to the counter to see a large pink bottle, not a small blue bottle of makeup remover.

I then realize I have just put nail polish remover in my eye.

I've never been so happy to not read "Please avoid contact with eyes" in my life. I need to stop trying to kill myself in the mornings.

Anyways, on another note, I got bored with my hair the other day and decided to cut my own bangs. HOW do people manage bangs? Tell me people. Is there some kind of thing you gotta do to make them behave? They're in my face all the time, the pieces are all all over the place and I feel like I'm hiding behind a veil of hair all the time. It's disastrous. Anyways, everyone loves the fringe look on me, but that's because I'm the one who has to them all nice and style them in the morning so that it looks good for all of y'all. Alas, it's another story when I wake up in the mornings. Everything is another story in the mornings really.

I took this with my phone so that's why the quality is all crappy.

Happy Friday!

Song today is Ben Folds - Still Fighting It

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

One of those days

You know when you have one of those days? Where everything goes totally wrong and even if it doesn’t go totally wrong, it’s stupid anyway? Well I’ve had one of those months. And unfortunately it’s continuing. Alas, things don’t seem to be looking up for me. I can't seem to catch a break.

Will write more on this when I have another spare moment.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

What I said and what I really meant

What I say: "I don’t care what we do."
What I mean: "I don’t care what we do. I don't have any ideas. Pick something already, and I’ll be fine with it. Just don’t make me make all the decisions!"

What I say: "Let me check my schedule. I may be really busy with school."
What I mean: "Let me figure out if the incredibly hot guy I’ve been seeing and shacking up with is into me and asks me out on another date. If I don't hear from him, then I'm all yours."

What I say: "I don't know what you're talking about."
What I mean: "I know exactly what you're talking about. In fact, I remember it so clearly that I am having trouble keeping a straight face as I say this to you. But if feigning ignorance is the only way to get you off my back, so be it."

What I say: “Well, how do you think you would figure out this math problem sweetie?”
What I mean: “Well lovely child, let me tell you a little somethin' somethin'. After taking a math supplementary program, honors math in high school, two years and going of university, and working at a goddamn math center, I honestly have no idea how to figure out this question. I'm not even sure it's written in English, since none of this looks remotely familiar. Honestly, I think that this might be in Dutch. Or Latin. So skip it. Go ask someone else, and get away from me, before I make a fool out of myself and admit that grade 7 math is beyond me."

What I say: "I really like you."
What I mean: "I'm crazy about you."

Songs today are Animal Collective - Brother Sport and Kings of Leon - Manhattan

Sunday, October 4, 2009

"Did you just say you play the guitar? In that case you need to get in my bed. Like, now."

Saw Jason Mraz in concert on Friday. He was great (everything sounded so much better live than on any of his albums), and he just oozes effortless cool- something I will never, ever be able to do.

Anyways, I'm not going to say much except that he plays an acoustic guitar. He plays an acoustic guitar? He plays an acoustic guitar! No matter how I say it, the bottom line is that he's a stud because he's plays the guitar.