It is a hard process - to experience and go through something that once had so much potential and slowly have it disintegrate without being able to salvage it. Besides asking myself what the hell happened, I am always on edge, worried and becoming increasingly disheartened.
I am a firm believer of communication to solve my problems, and yet everytime I try to lay out my cards and talk things through, it ends up backfiring and a huge argument ensues where the both of us go to bed angry. Nothing is solved – it is only shoved under the rug where it resurfaces again a month or two in the future. I want him to understand what I am thinking, how I am feeling, but I can never string the right combination of words together. No matter how much I desperately want things to work, we can never align, get on the same page and move forward together happily.
There is always some sort of two way sacrifice or compromise in a healthy relationship, but there is none in mine. I am at my wits’ end.