Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Phobias, part I

As far as I'm concerned, there are two types of people in this world: People who know their clothing color limits when it comes to dressing and those who don't.

Now before all of you in the latter category come at me with pitchforks, I have a confession: I have an extreme fear of wearing bright colors in general. One look into my neutral wardrobe should be enough proof. I am slowly trying to accept some colors into my wardrobe slowly, but it is a work in progress. Also I should mention that an exception to this is floral or plaid prints.

Basically, it's like a phobia. This phobia is so great that I even try to cut most of the color out of boyfriend's wardrobe. He should never leave me unattended at his apartment or he would come home to find his wardrobe destroyed and in ruins. This condition even has a name. It's called Chromophobia.

But the upside is that I can handle a little bit of color now. One bright colored piece paired with neutrals (blacks, greys, navies, whites, and any variation in between) is my rule/limit. It's some sort of brain mechanism where if I wear more than one bright colored piece, I think I would throw up or start having the shakes and smashing windows. Olivia Palermo provides an excellent example of how it should be done:

But god forbid those who insist on pairing bright color with bright color. As well, some colors are unforgivable in general and will never make their way into my wardrobe.

I’ve learned to accept these kinds of bright colored dressers as people, even though I think it’s disgusting and plain, downright wrong. I try not to judge them too harshly. I try to understand why someone would buy a pair of skinny jeans in bright green. It's beyond my understanding but I try to deal with it nonetheless.

More often than not, I have caught a great, beautifully cut top while shopping, only to be let down because it is a dreadful color like fucking magenta with yellow stripes running everywhere . So to all clothing manufacturers: If something is good the way it is (read: in beautiful neutral colors), for the love of baby jesus, let it be. Let it be.

But not all people think this way. So do you know what I have to say to all you colorful dressers in your 80's color t shirts? The world would be a much better place without you. Stop this insanity right now. The world does not work this way! If this little trend catches on, people are going to start replacing all the beautiful neutral colors with the Crayola palette.