Friday, January 2, 2009

Who Should Do the Approaching?

What is with guys and the lack of initiative these days?

I was talking to a good friend of mine the other day and stating that how the guys I'm interested in show all the signs of interest, but never actually make the first move and go ahead and ask me out. He brought up the point that if I wanted a guy to ask me out, that I should do it myself. He stated that girls should take more initiative to approach guys and that guys shouldn't be expected to always be the ones who do the approaching. He said it was a turn on to have a girl do the approaching...I'm sure most guys will agree with this statement. I agreed with his mindset to a certain extent.

I mean it is 2009, times have definitely changed.

However rational it sounds, and however good a point it is, it is simply something that a lot of women will never actually follow through with. How many times have I heard the line, "Call me traditional, but I believe the guy should always approach the girl." Guess what? It's one thing for a girl to wait around for a guy to make the first move, it's another issue altogether if it's vice versa.

For me, it isn't so much the fear of rejection that the idea turns me off so much that I won't do the approaching...I can take rejection to a degree, but that it reveals a lack of initiative in his character and that the prospect of rejection is just too much for him to step it up. If he couldn't even muster up the courage to ask me out on a date, do I have to be the one to lean in for the kiss after 3 or more dates of no physical contact?

Sometimes I take it as he's just not that into me...only to hear a confession after I've moved on. I get so exasperated at the fact that it's too late.

What I'm saying is that when a guy is clearly wanting to take a girl on a date or interested in her, he should just do it and not be hindered by rejection. So what do you do when you get a "no" from a girl? Accept it and move on. Other than a small bruise of the ego, it really isn't a big deal. Rather, it shows you actually have I think less of guy after he's asked me out and he's not my type? Absolutely not...I understand that it takes guts and that at least he wasn't the passive, idle kind of type...which I abhor!

Sure times of changed, but that doesn't mean that you should be any less of a guy. Rather, girls should do more approaching, but a guy shouldn't do less simply because of this change in tide.