Thursday, October 8, 2009

What I said and what I really meant

What I say: "I don’t care what we do."
What I mean: "I don’t care what we do. I don't have any ideas. Pick something already, and I’ll be fine with it. Just don’t make me make all the decisions!"

What I say: "Let me check my schedule. I may be really busy with school."
What I mean: "Let me figure out if the incredibly hot guy I’ve been seeing and shacking up with is into me and asks me out on another date. If I don't hear from him, then I'm all yours."

What I say: "I don't know what you're talking about."
What I mean: "I know exactly what you're talking about. In fact, I remember it so clearly that I am having trouble keeping a straight face as I say this to you. But if feigning ignorance is the only way to get you off my back, so be it."

What I say: “Well, how do you think you would figure out this math problem sweetie?”
What I mean: “Well lovely child, let me tell you a little somethin' somethin'. After taking a math supplementary program, honors math in high school, two years and going of university, and working at a goddamn math center, I honestly have no idea how to figure out this question. I'm not even sure it's written in English, since none of this looks remotely familiar. Honestly, I think that this might be in Dutch. Or Latin. So skip it. Go ask someone else, and get away from me, before I make a fool out of myself and admit that grade 7 math is beyond me."

What I say: "I really like you."
What I mean: "I'm crazy about you."

Songs today are Animal Collective - Brother Sport and Kings of Leon - Manhattan