Sunday, February 1, 2009

The Twilight Series is Terrible/ Absolute Crap/ Sucks

A long overdue rant...I had to type this up after seeing a 40-something year old woman reading the book the other day on the train. She looked thoroughly immersed in it, like it was some kind of literary masterpiece. Please, if Edward Cullen actually existed, he would not fuck you.

I absolutely abhor the Twilight saga. To be completely honest, I did like the series initially, before realizing that her writing is completely mindless and moot as the series went on.

I'm so sick of hearing Stephanie Meyer being compared to JK Rowling and people recommending the series as a "great read." Oh please, Meyer is terrible and her writing is comparable to that of a eighth grade lovesick teen.

So never mind the pointless storyline, never mind Bella's annoying, incessantly obsessive character, never mind that there is absolutely no character development, never mind everything that Meyer does NOT do well as an author, at the very least can someone please send her a package containing some kind of thesaurus or tell her there's a synonym looker upper on Microsoft?

I must have read the words, "perfect," "dazzling" and "beautiful" reiterated 50 times over throughout the first book, and god knows how many times she decides to repeat it in the following installments. I mean, yeah we get it, Edward is really good looking. Heck, he's beyond good looking...he's a SEX GOD and that would even be a better description than the ones Meyer repetitively gives. There is such thing as this. I felt slightly less intelligent after painfully trying to get through the 2nd book. And why did I even bother? Out of some kind of inscrutable curiosity perhaps.

So what does this all mean? Well, if I were any hard working English major whose biggest dream is to write and publish a novel, I would rest assured. If this kind of crap and nonsense can be spewed out and sell millions, then anything is possible in the literary world. (I mean, Meyer only has a stunningly aggressive 120 word vocabulary and she did it, no?) Excellent motivation.

No comments: