Monday, March 31, 2008

Beware the Dreaded Myspace/Facebook Angles

So you’ve been talking to this hot young lady that you met on MySpace, Facebook, Friendster or one of the many other social networking or dating sites that are available online and you believe you have come to a point that you are ready to meet her. You get along great and have awesome conversations over the phone and on instant messenger. You listen to the same bands and have similar interests, irks, aspirations, and idiosyncrasies. In short, it really seems like you are falling for this girl.

And her pictures. “Wow” is all you can say every time that you look at them. The way that her hair falls over her shoulder as she gives you that sultry-but-oh-so-innocent look in the photo that she sent you which drives you wild. You can hardly believe that you have found a creature that is so beautiful, yet so deep and really into your interests as well. You’ve even caught yourself feeling a little sorry that you previously held the misconception that all girls that look this great are vapid and stuck up. But now you know better and you thank the internet and your computer every day while you have endless conversations with her while staring at her photo that you have now plastered onto your desktop.

You know she’s hot. You’ve shown her picture to your friends and they think she’s hot. And now you’re ready to meet her. But are you prepared for what you may actually find?

Well, let this serve as a warning to you because you may have just fallen victim to the dreaded, “MySpace Angles.”

The MySpace Angles phenomenon isn’t one that is new but is a growing concern for men, young and old, across the globe. Photography-savvy young ladies are utilizing crafty camera angles and even photo software to weave a type of black magic onto their likenesses that would rival even the most forgiving Glamour Shots photographers of the old days. These crafty ladies will bend and conform themselves precariously to just the right position to hide those multiple chins, unsightly bulges, and possibly even hooves in the attempt to rope in unsuspecting victims across the World Wide Web.

MySpace Angle:

Cold, Harsh Reality:

You may tell yourself that by being diligent about asking for multiple photos you are being an alarmist and maybe even paranoid. Additionally, the fact that this phenomenon exists may even appear to be mean-spirited and just plain wrong. However, we ask you while presenting this evidence to you today: Just who is at fault here? Should you feel guilty for ensuring that the package you are presented is the package you should expect? Or are you just going to hold out until the bitter end and hope for the best?

MySpace Angle Super Cutie:

Larger-than-expected Dinner Date Bill:

Asian Honey + Glasses = Smart and Sexy!

You’re gonna need more sake to be able to seal this deal!

Trippy little cutie that is sure to be a blast to hang out with:

In reality, “little” doesn’t quite describe the trip you’re going on.

A veritable Goddess at this angle:

But the light of day suggests otherwise.

This is a quirky little hottie that can hang out with the guys and still be cute:

Well, she can hang out with the guys, anyway. And probably drink them all under the table, to boot.

The emo girl of your dreams:

Or maybe your worst nightmare.

And finally, one late night you asked your beauty for some boob shots:

And you GOT ‘EM!

Taking a cue from Shallow Hal, love may be blind and beauty may only be skin deep but a façade of smoke and mirrors is no way to begin a relationship and if the lovely lady of your online dreams isn’t truthful with you about herself upfront, can you be so sure you can trust her down the road?

Consider this as a public service announcement to all the would-be e-Romeos out there that are trolling the social sites looking for love: watch out, because you may be biting off more than you can chew!



Ichiya said...

haha, it's a funny place. =P

Anonymous said...


no, not the same one daniel showed me. oh, great blog!!